Growing up with the Crosses:
Helping your child adapt to current trends

With Saturn in the fixed sign Leo since mid July of this year, and Jupiter moving into the ficed sign Scorpio in late October, I thought it might be interesting to take a look at the impact of these transits on the lives of our children. The following is an adaptation of sections relating to children taken from Astrological Crosses in Relationships, by Pauline Edward. The signs are grouped by their respective cross: Cardinal (Aries, Cancer, Libra, Capricorn), Fixed (Taurus, Leo, Scorpio, Aquarius) and Mutable (Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius, Pisces).

Growing up Cardinal (Aries, Cancer, Libra, Capricorn)

The cardinal child is a busy, active child; the world is his stage, and his experience of life is his drama. He needs to feel the impact of his own power on his surrounding environment. This child thrusts himself outwards and onto the world, relishing each experience, drawing from it all possible sensation. He is the most likely to engage in a power struggle with parents, teachers and authority figures. If he is surrounded by controlling, powerful adults, he may find it necessary to temporarily submit to their power in order to survive. But as he matures, he is very likely to lash out in an attempt to assume power of his own. This child responds to power and authority, and he will test a parent's power to its limits. If you are up to the test, you will be respected, if not, the child will attempt to destroy your authority.

It is important for the healthy development of the cardinal child that there be a positive relationship with a person in authority other than a parent, such as a "big brother," an older friend, a teacher, coach, neighbor or relative. Exposure to the healthy and positive application of personal power and authority will allow the cardinal child to develop his own power. It is also important for this child to develop positive outlets for the expression of his personal power. One way is to provide him with the opportunity to exercise authority through gradually increasing responsibilities such as feeding the cat, walking the dog, handling an allowance. These responsibilities must provide a valid challenge for the child, for he will know if you are just playing with him. On the other hand, the challenges must not be so great as to discourage him from the beginning.

The cardinal child who is not given the opportunity to develop a sense of power will, later in life, struggle with feelings of inadequacy through powerlessness. They may grow to envy or resent persons in positions of authority, which could in turn lead to problems with bosses and difficulties in holding down a job. They may outright refuse to assume responsibility for themselves and their life in general. In order to feel balanced and healthy, the cardinal individual does need to get a feel for his own personal power.

Saturn, and Jupiter will have finished their transits in the cardinal signs this fall, giving your cardinal child a bit of a chance to catch his breath and to settle down a bit. Excess stress and anxiety should be waning as he/she learns to express his sense of power in the world around him. It will be important during this period of integration that the child be allowed to experience the true consequences of his actions. If he is responsible, a logical result, or reward is attained. If he is irresponsible, again, the same should be allowed to occur. In this way, the cardinal child can grow to learn the importance of assuming full responsibility for his decisions and actions.

Growing up Fixed (Taurus, Leo, Scorpio, Aquarius)

Unlike the mutable child who will find a way of communicating his needs or the cardinal who can push himself onto his environment or somehow make his presence known, the fixed child is much more of a loner. The parent will have the impression that all is well, that the child's needs are satisfied and that she is perfectly content. But the fixed child needs not only to be told and shown that he is loved, but also that he is worthy of this love. Empty words or mechanical gestures of affection will quickly be detected. The words must convey true feelings of affection and should not only be expressed as terms of endearment, which is the case with all children, but is even more important with the fixed ones.

A strong sense of self is essential to the healthy development of this child, and in cultures where self-denial or self-effacement are taught and encouraged, much anguish and inner suffering can result for the strong fixed sign child. In this sense, the fixed aspects of the zodiac refer to that which is "selfish" in an individual. As the perceptual experience of reality is subjective, the importance of adequate self-validation cannot be stressed enough. These children need to be encouraged to trust their perceptions and to express themselves in their own manner and style. Because of this, it is okay for these children to focus on themselves in their youth, in fact it is essential that they develop a strong sense of self so that they can grow up and feel secure enough to give of themselves without the fear of loss.

Being fixed and very one-pointed, fixed signs have fewer options for experimenting with various types of behavior. If what they are is not acceptable, then nothing is acceptable; this can lead to a path of depression and despair and ultimately even to self-destructive behavior. On the other hand, if the fixed child is encouraged to be who he really is, he will be very autonomous, and self motivated and capable of embarking on long hard paths of self-discipline and training that other children might not be able to endure. Their autonomy must not be mistaken for lack of need of support from others. It is just that they do not consider seeking help outside themselves.

With Saturn now in the fixed sign of Leo, and Jupiter soon to move into Scorpio, our fixed sign youth will soon be feeling the intensity of the life they are leading. Instilling the importance of true values, self worth and a strong sense of personal identity will be very important for their well-being and growth over the next year. Take extra time with your fixed-sign child to let them know that you love them, and that their ideas, dreams and personal interests are of particular value and importance.

Growing up Mutable (Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius, Pisces)

Parents of mutable children would do well to monitor their responses to their child's behavior, for the child will act very much according to how he interprets the reactions of teachers, parents and mentors. These children are very Pavlovian. They are easier to control than cardinal or fixed children in that a positive word of encouragement or a promise of a reward, will go a long way in reinforcing behavior. A parent needs to be aware of what he finds "cute" in his young child, for this behavior will be repeated for a long time.

On the other hand, a lack of response from the parent or guardian, as in the case of a parent who is absent, or even just too busy or preoccupied, will cause deep wounds in the child, where the absence will be interpreted as exclusion and rejection. They will seek to fit in somewhere else, even if this other environment might ultimately have harmful effects. For these youngsters, to feel included in a group or gang, even if the group participates in illicit activities, is better that to be left feeling alone and unwanted at home.

Children who are marked by the mutable cross are generally very communicative. When they talk, they need feedback, because they are testing their ideas against those of the world outside themselves. They will exchange ideas and experiences among each other, comparing notes and choosing from these experiences those which best suit their needs. They are very sensitive and aware of everything that is going on around them. They are "information sponges", intellectually quick, adaptable and flexible. In a way, these children can be somewhat mercenary in their approach to situations. They will dispassionately, for passion belongs to the cardinal cross, analyze, evaluate and process information and come up with "the best deal" for themselves. If a certain type of behavior will get them what they want, then they will act it out that way. They will do what is expected of them, for they have carefully studied the responses of those around them.

Mutable children are great imitators. They can reproduce all forms of reality, as it is presented to them. Some mutable children will behave according to the rules, or as they are "supposed to", like mother or father does or as they were told they should. For example, a young girl might take her mother's recipe and bake a batch of cookies as instructed. The cookies should taste good, because they did when mother made them, and they were made as mother made them. She won't taste them and judge for herself. The young child will dress the doll to look like she does in the picture on the box, or he will lay out the farm animals as they are supposed to be in "real life."
The mutable child is most likely to conform in order to be included in the group. Peer pressure is strongly felt here. They are the adolescents who are most likely to "need" those designer jeans at twice the price of regular jeans. The parent who objects to this child's apparently "outrageous" demands does not understand the importance of this very real need to feel included. For the mutable adolescent, it is useless to try to reason that a designer label does not warrant the cost of the jeans. To this adolescent, it is a matter of survival, since if he cannot conform, he will lose his status in the group and thus be excluded from that which gives him a sense of identity -- the group. It is better to suggest that it might be time to find a part time job so he can purchase his own designer clothes. Ask him what his friends do for pocket money. Maybe he can do the same.

This need for conformity will only be overridden if a strong security base is established early in life. If the child feels safe and secure and is well integrated in the family group, he will be able later on to experiment with other forms of reality. He will be able to weigh the pressure of the group versus his own need to innovate, and perhaps may allow himself to try something new. But this will happen only if he does not fear exclusion by judgment. If he has been brought up to accept the occasional failure as a normal part of life, he will expand his field of activity to include that which is outside the normal sphere of experience. But if he thinks he might be rejected if he behaves differently, or that he might be judged harshly if he fails, he will not venture far from the norm. For him, it is better to be "like everyone else" than to risk being different and marginal. The thought of being alone and isolated, can be a horrifying experience for the mutable sign. The strong and confident mutable child will take pleasure in exploring many different facets of life.

This year, with Saturn in Leo and Jupiter in Scorpio, the mutable sign child will need to learn the importance of taking the time to identify his own values, his own ideas, his own worth, and this, despite the strong need to be accepted by others. A little quiet time, or personal time will help with this process, even if it is only ten minutes a day. Be certain to encourage your mutable child for his unique ideas and for those actions he initiates outside the influence of the group towards which he normally looks for approval.

Adapted from: Astrological Crosses in Relationships, by Pauline Edward.